Those of you who have read my blog before (shout out to my brother), know that I have a guilty pleasure – “The Bachelor.” I have even gone so far as to create a therapy group based on the do’s and don’ts of “Bachelor” relationships, though it went on to include other reality tv programs as well. (How I actually made that part of my job is a story for another blog.) Anyway, as you can see I have a deep affection for the show which is why I am not happy to find myself so conflicted about continuing to watch.
Last season’s finale included the bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr., proposing to Becca Kufrin, and then dumping her in front of an entire camera crew and producers. Becca was completely blindsided because they had been discussing real estate and moving in together within weeks of the breakup. It was exploitative and completely gross to watch. It was also hard to turn away and I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing and felt awful about doing so – both before and after. This is not typical for me. I may call “The Bachelor” a guilty pleasure, but I have never felt guilty for watching it – in March 2018, I did.
The next morning I talked to hubs about how horrified and disgusted I was by what the franchise had done and how awful it felt to watch someone be betrayed by a group of people she trusted. “Then why do you watch the show?” he asked. Over the last few months I have repeatedly asked myself the same question. Here is what I have come up with: 1. The show is completely escapist. People do not date like this in real life; therefore, it is kind of fun to take a flight of fancy every week. 2. The podcast wrap-ups. I discovered podcasts with the birth of my second child a few years ago and I absolutely love them – from news to snarky recaps, you can find a podcast on anything. 3. Most importantly, live tweeting. I don’t tweet, but when “The Bachelor” is on, my Twitter feed comes alive. I enjoy hearing others’ perspectives in real time, watching the conversation, and the GIFs, oh the GIFs!
The biggest problem I have is that I feel manipulated by the situation in which the franchise as placed us devoted viewers. They know we enjoy the community forged by the show. They also know that gross finale got us talking. They also know that we are so irritated/disappointed/angry about what happened to Becca, who by all accounts seems to be a kind woman, that we want to see something good happen in her life. Hence, we may feel more compelled than ever to tune in for this season in order to support her. Thus, while now would definitely be the time to quit “The Bachelor” franchise in favor of finding something better to do with my Monday nights, (I don’t know, reading and actual book or engaging in some sort of exercise or life-expanding hobby) I still want to watch for the reasons listed above. Mike Fleiss, yeah I’m looking at you, not happy that you have made something so frothy feel like a moral proving ground. Now, what to do…
Made to Work It 