The Summer Olympics in Rio are coming up. I know that the world is concerned with the very big issue of the Zika virus and how to protect those competing and those who will travel to the Olympics. In light of that, what I’m about to discuss seems very small, but I’m going to discuss it anyway because it burned me up. The topic at hand is youth. Let me tell you this fun little anecdote.
This morning NPR covered the Olympic trials for swimming. They discussed who had qualified and the fact that Michael Phelps was the first male swimmer ever to qualify for 5 Olympics. Tom Goldman also spoke about the fact that we will be seeing several new, younger swimmers on the Olympic team this year. When he interviewed 20-year-old Ryan Murphy, the foolish young swimmer said, “Yeah, I mean, both those guys have either kids or kids on the way…, I don’t even have a girlfriend! They’re definitely a lot more mature than me, but sometimes youth wins out.” At this point I loudly exclaimed “yuck!” Lady Sassypants and I were on the way to school and she begged to know why I had exclaimed so loudly – did I smell something gross, had I seen something yucky? Well, something like that.
I understand that the aging process isn’t always kind. I understand that I will not be able to do in my 50’s the same things I could do with ease in my 20’s. Who am I kidding, I can already see that my 20’s are in my rearview mirror. To deny that is to wear blinders. At the same time, what I am reacting to is the blithe way this young man asserts that youth is better. His other statements insinuate that to be older is a total bummer and that these guys are well-preserved relics who belong in a museum.
Was Murphy likely thinking all of these things overtly? Probably not. However, his statements betray an overarching mindset in our culture – that youth is to be worshipped and held onto at all costs and that old age means that it’s over. Think about it, you can’t go five minutes without seeing a commercial, that is if you still bother to watch commercials, for some sort of youth-boosting skin serum or hair dye. What happened to the concept of growing old gracefully?
I remember marveling that men (teens to 60-somethings) always seem to be aware of college girls. A girlfriend of mine pointed out that it’s because being in our early 20’s meant that everyone thought that is was an appropriate and desirable age. I’m no longer that college co-ed, but I’m not elderly yet either. At least I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had pushed up the age delineation. At this point in time sometimes I feel like expired milk that the world sniffs, screws up their face at, and walks away from. It does seem that our youth-obsessed culture wants to sit in that pocket between the tweens and the late-twenties forever. Were those times fun? Of course. Still, I think what gets me is the idea that “younger is better” is hammered home everywhere I look, and unless it’s a “special campaign,” there is little to nothing out there about the joys of life and the fact that beauty, grace, wit, and incredible vitality still exist even after you’ve been on the planet for more than two-and-a-half decades.
So what’s a girl to do? I, for one, am going to reconnect with the side of myself that laughed often and hard. I will teach my children to do the same. I will remember what sorts of things used to make me happy and I will do them again. Those are beautiful elements from my younger self. However, I will also say what I think, set boundaries unapologetically, have no time for being self-conscious, and stop seeking a reference point from outside because there is only one me – you know, all the stuff about which youth doesn’t have a clue.
Made to Work It 